To Be Honest…

To be honest…I’m kind of sick of feeling like that I’m not doing enough for God.
And here’s why…because that feeling of inadequacy isn’t FROM God.


It’s coming from people and posts and agendas and opinions that try to elevate their human holiness by preaching at the world to fall in line with standards when God is saying…
“hey…come close to me, you’re doing just fine.”
“hey…I took care of shame, so why are you digging it back up?”
“hey…you are saved and you are safe in ME, so why are you letting someone’s opinion make you question your salvation?”


Maybe we forgot, cause sometimes I do, but
faith and faith alone, that’s it.
Belief in a man who came and walked and talked and did and died and took Himself out of His own grave so that through my utterance of “yes it is so”, I could cross a bridge.


That’s the only thing keeping us from passing the gate of heaven.
Simple faith. So why do we make it so complicated?


Our competitive nature insinuates that there are ways to play the game so there are more jewels in our crowns or when our time comes we get the room with the view.
Sometimes we speak that a lesser version of heaven is deserved for those who don’t match up to a caked over and crafted up version of holiness that Jesus never made a prerequisite. 


When we keep spilling the salt while covering the light, we are just a judge.
A judge, who in thinking that we will pull people in, will actually push people away.
Do ya feel me?


We can’t put our miracle working King, who sat with anyone and everyone, in a Pharisees box.
They were the ones who would only point out all that is wrong, nothing that was right or even had the potential to be, and preached a graceless game.
And with that lack of grace they missed the Truth.


They spent so much time pointing fingers at all that was wrong,
all that OTHERS were doing wrong,
that they missed their own wrongdoing.


They spoke all the ways that people should and could and would be living if they were really holy.
Who even really knows if we are doing it right?!


All we can do is try our best until we get to heaven.


And I believe that the best God wants from me is to turn my ear to Him, fix my eyes, and not shift my gaze to the left or right.
He wants me set straight so that I don’t stop going outside the box.
Because what He is calling me to do might not be what He is calling you to do.
We are sadly mistaken if that’s true.
Our callings might be different, but the love He has for us is the same.
He doesn’t turn anyone away.
He just asks for our best, not perfect.
The best of love, not judgement.
The best of inclusion, not exclusivity.
The best of encouragement and humility, not condemnation and guilt.
The best of intimacy, not separation.
The best of beauty, not of a focal point on brokenness.
The best IS NOT rationalizing an US and THEM
when one US is all it takes to love anyway.
And that, that’s what Jesus did.
And that, that is holy.


Holy is the beauty we find when we see someone else through our own humanness and knowing that is good and beautiful and ok.


Holy is not hate the sin, love the sinner.
Holy is not “imagine if she was someone’s wife or someone’s daughter” because then her identity’s importance is still instilled in a man.
Holy is not justification of our own indulgences over someone else’s.
Holy is not keep it quiet.
Holy is not meek and and scared.
Holy is not hide and wait.
Holy is not how we dare speak before we listen.
Holy is not how we dare elevate ourselves over someone else.
Holy is not how we dare breathe restrictions on someone else’s story.
Holy is not how we dare believe that we aren’t in dire need of saving, ourselves,
every. single. day.


Pride comes before the fall.
We all fall short of the glory of God.
And it’s where I am falling that I see the most beautiful depiction of my Savior rising. 
Rising above all that is telling us that we aren’t enough, rising above the unrighteous judgement of others, and rising above the lies that we should play it safe.
His model is where I fix my eyes, where I put my trust, where I live and breath…


with great expectance.


That place, that messy, grace filled, intimate recollection and reminder of how He dared to live…
to show the world something different, something more beautiful, unified, and inclusive than anything we had ever seen…


that place is where we find the holy ground.

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