Less “Loving On” People…

I was watching Friends (for the 6th or 7th time) this week.

I am in season 4 when Ross and Emily are about to get married and Rachel has this wave of boldness where she feels the greatest urge to tell Ross that she’s still in love with him.

Everyone, literally everyone, tells her that’s a terrible idea, but she can’t listen.

In all honesty, she seems a little crazy. A little outside of herself, not really thinking logically.

But what I love most about this episode  is that her people still LOVE her. Visibly and verbally they give her grace, tell her to do what she needs to do but they don’t affirm her actions.

In the office a few months ago, a joke about funny (or not so funny) things Christians say turned into something I really started to wrestle with.

When we witness someone going through an out of body experience due to their circumstances, we tend to want to jump in.

Which, hear me, is so good. But hear me out…

We say, “Let’s love on them…

My circle of people have been going through some crazy stuff.

The pain of losing children,
of losing love,
of feeling neglected,
of drastic life transitions,
of diagnosis
of death
and it has been overwhelming.

I feel like I hear someone’s point of pain everyday.
It’s so close that I can feel the tingle of fear brushing up against me.
It’s raw and gritty and undone.

I began to distinguish a difference between loving someone verses loving on someone.

Loving On someone, to me, feels a bit distant.

It feels like we can do the baseline effort and then brush our hands off and return to daily life.
It feels sub par.
It feels like an obligation.
It feels like a should instead of get to.
It feels like misplaced intentions.

Loving someone…oh, that’s a direct line to depth.

Loving someone means that you run hard and fast to be by their side.
If you LOVE someone then you are willing to white knuckle it with them.
It looks like empathy.
It looks like a willingness to feel what your people feel, not because you are taking ownership of something that’s not yours, because your love for them runs that deep.
It looks like highs and lows, and ceasing to walk away regardless of the season.
It looks like a willingness to go there instead of taking the easy way out.
It looks less like an opportunity and more like an immediate instinct.

It looks pretty beautiful.

It looks beautiful when we give love away like we are made of the stuff,

because we are.

Romans 8:29-30 MSG

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I think that’s the kind of life I am craving.

I am craving the kind of life where fear doesn’t win, where people show up in our defense when we are too weak on our own.

I am craving the life where we don’t solve each others problems, but we lead each other to our knees on the kitchen floor amidst all sorts of wrecked and disoriented life. Where we stay there, whispering the power and presence of our King until we can stand again.

I am craving the life where humility, grace, love and understanding come more easily than they do right now. I know that I need to get better at this.

I am craving the life where He is more and I am less…where really loving people, loving neighbors, is taken seriously and with great care.
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Sign up for love,

there’s nothing superior in the cheap stuff.

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2 thoughts on “Less “Loving On” People…

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