“It doesn’t count if it’s not eye to eye.”
Recently, I’ve been praying.
I’ve been praying that God would speak to me more clearly.
I’m a person with a whopping two distinct instances I can remember what God was telling me and when. Every other moment, reveal, has felt gradual. Sometimes it comes through people, circumstances, reading. Usually it’s here…writing and letting God lead my words which in turn have lead me closer to His heart.
Now, if you’re someone reading this who desires to have God speak to you, I am not sure if this will be encouraging or discouraging but I hope that it will be the former. I know what it feels like to be grappling, praying, desiring, wondering for extended periods of time with little lifting of the fog. I know there’s people who have gone longer than me, still hanging on to that sliver of hope asking for God to just remind them that He’s there.
While singing (by singing, I mean worshipping…this girl can’t sing), I had this vision that God was connected to me, heart to heart, with a string.
It felt like old school telephone with the tin cans roped together except way more divine.
It literally felt like the strongest, most beautiful, bond reaching directly from my sternum to the heart of the Father.
I can’t see God’s face, but I know it’s Him, probably because I know He is too holy for that. He can’t show us his face without being entirely overwhelmed or crippling in fear of His presence but His presence is ever present.
Even though He is holy, He is tethered to us.
He is personal.
He is detailed.
He cares layers deep.
He is intimate.
He is relational and has created you for relationship…with people but also with Him.
Let me back track, before I had this moment I was insanely distracted. I felt like I had just stepped out of line with an emotional reaction, some relationships in my life are rocky and disoriented, and I’m wondering how all the work, house work, and life work is going to get done.
I was wondering if I was even good enough or capable enough to do a good job at any or all of the things on the reel spooling through my head.
And then, I just felt like God was saying,
“Celeste, this is about Me and you.
Make this about Me and you.”
I heard it, and some tears crept to the corners of my eyes.
I just couldn’t help it though I continued to be distracted and I started to drift.
“Don’t shift your eyes.
Look right at Me.
I am your WHY. “
I know in that moment God wanted to remind me of my identity and His deep, connected love.
Don’t think about the person you’re not on the best terms with.
Don’t think about those plans, where you have to be, what you have to do.
Don’t think about what people will think if you raise your hands right now as you feel heaven come.
Keep your eyes right HERE with ME.
If you think about it, God is personal. He is one-on-one. He has an individual relationship with each and every one of His children. Even when Jesus was here He had an individual interaction or relationship with every person he came eye to eye with.
Because He’s that good.
He’s good enough to look each of His children directly in the eye because He’s that vast and wide and slightly unbelievable.
He’s good enough to send His Son down from heaven, watch Him suffer death, and then bring Him to defeat the grave three days later so that we wouldn’t have to pay the price.
That’s what makes Him believable.
He’s believable and He’s begging you to look Him in the eye.
Fix your eyes and don’t waver because He wants to show you things, to show you a life, to show you purpose and love and assist you in loving people in a way that is unbelievably believable.
Why are you looking at that broken relationship, his/her thoughts don’t identify you…
My thoughts identify you.
Why are you thinking of all the work you have to do…
your work isn’t the why, I am the why.
Why are you thinking you’re not enough…
I’ve made you enough, I’ve equipped you to do all these things, but you are too distracted stiff arming Me instead of letting me help you.
I’m tethered to you.
Heart to heart.
Get eye to eye with me and then go out and be eye to eye with everyone else.
I want you to love everyone you come eye ball to eye ball with like I have loved you.
– Andy Stanley