On a Friday morning, I had breakfast (a THREE HOUR breakfast) with one of the sweetest friends ever. Seriously, we could sit there and talk for hours and it would feel like no time at all.
She asked to hear my story, and she loved and encouraged me in so many ways it may be difficult to write about. Her and her husband are people I’ve known for a few years but haven’t had the privilege of really knowing until the last six months. I spoke to high school students for the first time back in October of 2015 and her husband, Adam, posted an encouraging picture of me on Instagram saying that those students and our church were so lucky to have me pouring out my heart and soul for the city of Colorado Springs…needless to say it made me cry. Allie cried today as she told me that I needed to cherish that (I screen shot it and saved it in my e-mail) because Adam is one that doesn’t speak often, but when he does his words are gold.
We cried together as we shared our hearts and our stories. She encouraged me in the young adults community that we are starting and said that she was absolutely positive this was the right next step. Even if it seems like I am walking blindly. But as she told me that, I began to reflect on how God orchestrated this young adults group. He has opened all the doors. Luke said yes to leading it alongside me, which some people might call him crazy for, but I believe that God used his “yes” to make me start running.
Allie told me some of her and Adam’s story, and then she encouraged me with this…
”wait…hold out…for your Adam”.
For a girl who has always, ALWAYS, wanted to be married…and not because of the wedding, the ring, the dress, but because of the amazing, Godly man I get to share the rest of my life with…telling me to be patient is an interesting combination of affirming and agonizing. I’ve craved that so badly, as did Allie, and God provided for her. She encouraged me in my story, saying how God was going to use it and how He was going to provide me with, one day, an Adam…
I don’t know how God will orchestrate my story, but as I look back I see His faithfulness written all across my life. I battled spiritual war fare in my family with my mom going into depression and my parents marriage crumbling. I started dating way too young and did a lot of things I shouldn’t have to put my self worth in my relationships, and affirmation from guys, instead of Jesus’ hands.
He intervened in ways He didn’t have to but He did to prove His love and His plan for me. I battled an eating disorder and recently found out that I have symptoms of PCOS and insulin resistance.
When I was crying out to God with a wrecked heart and a broken soul He comforted me.
What hung in the balance of an invitation when I was seventeen…changed the direction of my life forever.
Never did I EVER imagine that I would end up working full time in ministry. It was never a desire of mine and God literally threw it in my lap. I started walking, trying to be faithful and it was HARD. I didn’t think I would stay forever but every time I started to shift gears God stalled me out. He stalled and He whispered,
“Just be patient…all of this pain and trial is leading to something. It’s something big and beautiful and you don’t see now what I am doing but someday you will.”
He’s given me glimpses and I only know it is going to continue. My heart has drastically shifted. I thought I was going to move to Atlanta but as I began to pray I re-fell in love with the city of Colorado Springs. My heart was broken for young adults in this city that don’t have a community, and for adults and families that don’t know who Jesus is or what He did in order to have a relationship with them.
I decided to plant where I thought I would leave.
In this season I am fighting the impatience not solely in singleness, but ironically I am also rejoicing in the waiting no matter the area I feel tested.
This is one of the sweetest years I could have ever asked for. Things have been difficult, but acceptance and healing have come. Yes, even when there are still unknowns. Real + true + genuine friends have made the stories of my days. I’ve laughed harder and love better because of the people I get to spend my time alongside. I’ve had late nights, early mornings, and managed productivity. I get to work, play, worship, and pray with a team who have all set their eyes on the 83% of unchurched people in our city. Then in the midst of busyness and trials and hard days where I choose a run over screaming my head off (you know you debate it too…), God continues to remind me of who I am and to Whom I belong.
Yet the sweetest of all is this privilege, I’ve seen people fall in love with Jesus. I hope that while I am waiting for anything, I continue to be full of wonder at the most important thing of all.
Our patience is tested daily. There’s patience in many areas of life, parenting, friendships, school, relationships, marriage, work, and family. I hope that with whatever life has given you, in whatever season you find yourself perpetually waiting…
to fall in love,
to get your dream job,
to move away from home,
to prove yourself,
to follow your dream,
you continue to be full of wonder too.