I realized today, that I spend a lot (and I mean a lot) of time dreaming of the pictures I want to take and the captions I want to go with them. If you don’t do this, it’s totally fine to think “she’s a little crazy…” and to let this be the entertainment of your day.
Usually, I don’t really see this as a big deal because most of the time the use of my social media is to tell stories, share small or large life changing moments, but really to point people to Jesus using common ground and common emotion. Although today, resting this afternoon in a few quiet moments, I found myself dreaming of the pictures I would take with my someday future husband and thinking of what I could caption them. Not uncommon for most women…until I realized something else.
I do not want to change the way I utilize social media whenever I am in a relationship. I still want to use it to write things that are challenging, compelling, and ultimately are pointing people away from me, and the snapshots of life I have developed to share, and closer to Jesus.
I do want to focus on the heart of my future relationship. Today, tomorrow, and ten thousand tomorrow’s from now. Outside of the hashtags and perfect pictures. The only way that is going to happen is if I make that the priority.
I want to spend more time looking into the eyes of the man God places in front of me than at my phone trying to write the perfect caption to tell the world about him.
Today I felt a little bit like I was hit in the gut, because all that time I am spending dreaming and scheming I could be using to pray for this relationship, and that man, even if it is long before it comes to be. Really, truly, what I want for my future relationship is for us to be fully engaged in the high and low moments of everyday together. Driving in the car, sipping coffee across from each other, championing each other in life, reading together, adventuring together…and during each and every one of those things praising Jesus for what He’s done, praying through decisions and hardships, and having authentic and real conversations with each other.
I want to talk about what could easily become mundane and be willing to dig deeper…because it’s only when you keep pushing past the surface that you get to see that person’s heart.
I believe that those moments are going to be the ones I will cherish. The moments where we become each other’s better half because we are laughing, crying, processing, talking, and even sitting in silence together.
Now, this doesn’t mean I am saying to not champion your significant other on social media or to not publicly share your life together because it’s a real part of life. If we are asking for authenticity, then that comes with the package. Just don’t let the dreaming and scheming of what to share or how to share it take up the precious moments of connection. I can pre-plan my posts when he’s asleep and I’m restless, on my run as long as I don’t fall, when I’m curling my hair in the morning before I burn my finger…but I’m vowing now to not let the opportunity building connections pass by. Any moment I can be, I want to be all there. In mind and in heart.
Any moment I have the chance to I am going to look into his eyes, ask him more questions about his day rather than just “how was it?” and be satisfied with the one word response, and look up instead of down to see what he sees as we make these memories together.
I’m hoping to choose being present in conversation over perfect imagery and perfect captioning in any relationship…even the ones to come.