The Mirror and Her Heart…

I’m guilty of so many things, so many flaws, and this is one of them: I am so guilty of focusing on my own flaws.

Four to five out of seven days when I work out, eat well, and drink my 64 oz of water I’m still angry with the body I am working with.

What I’ve realized is that I need to accept myself, the hard work I put in, and try to see my self worth through Christ’s eyes, not my analytical comparison to others, and what I think I should look like.

It’s a daily choice. A really hard daily choice.

Body image has always been a struggle for me. There has never been a day in my life that I’ve seen myself as completely perfect or loved the way I’ve looked in a bikini. The issue has evolved and it’s grown, but as a woman my heart continues to break and long for the reasons why I am beautiful today. It’s a comparison game, a twisted perception of self-image, and a downward spiral into seeing less of what’s truly beautiful.

If you’re anything like me then you’ve been analyzing yourself in a mirror for nearly as long as you can remember. From childhood to adulthood it’s been a daily struggle, it still is, and I don’t doubt that it will be for a long time to come.

Each time I look in the mirror I have to choose if I am going to love myself or pick myself apart. The worst part is, is that there’s usually no comforting me, people can’t tell me about what they can’t see. And to be honest, some days it is even hard to believe what The Lord says about me.

I’m a health advocate. By no means am I saying that this is an excuse to eat a tub of ice cream every night.

What I am saying is this, God loves you and is going to use you regardless of what you look like because he has already defined you as beautiful and worthy.

 You, my sweet friend, are uniquely created. You were made in His image, and even if you aren’t exactly where you want to be in this moment, He has you here for a reason. He doesn’t look at you and see someone else’s beauty as a higher value than yours. Let that be a comfort to you…that in your King’s eyes He sees you as unmatched to any other. He loves you divinely for who He has made you to be.

There might be something different about you. You might think you’re too skinny, you might think you’re too big, you might think something is misshapen, not toned enough, not flat enough, not round enough. Maybe you have trouble losing weight, maybe you have trouble gaining it. Or maybe you are nearly content, but you see your friends struggle with how they see themselves.

But let’s all be honest for a second, most of us {if not all of us}, regardless of what we look like, probably want to be loved for

our hearts

our actions

our contributions

our love

our efforts

our sacrifice

our prayers

our messages

our worship

our stories

and the life we devote to Christ Himself

rather than how good we could ever look.

We still want to look good, and it is still great to work towards a goal where you are healthy and happy, but it is not ok for your worth to be dependent on your image.

If I could look each one of you in the eyes and beg you to please not be like me and not pick yourself apart in the mirror I would.

I want you {and me} to work towards the difficult choice of acceptance, and grace, and perseverance towards loving ourselves and the efforts we make.

My prayer for you is to make the difficult choice to love yourself, and to trust what He says and what He defines you with. Ask Him to heal your broken heart, or a friends.

He is greater, He is better, and He has marked us all at a price so much higher than we could ever imagine, flawless flaws and all.

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