Eventually we get tired, we get burnt out, we realize that we who are doesn’t align with who we are expected to be. We realize that we are under so much pressure we are about to explode or cave in, whichever one is less effort. Somehow standing up and walking away is always more difficult than fighting for something we believe in because we feel like we are giving up too easily no matter how many times we have been through the wringer. We feel like we are giving up on love or hope or possibility and that we are weak or quitters or unsatisfactory.
It’s easy to feel small and it is easy to let everything we can’t do over run everything we can do.
It is easy to let others make-shift us into perfectly portioned leaders, lovers, and lusters but let’s be real the facade doesn’t last forever.
Sometimes no one has the right words since our heart and our head have pretty much already made the decision for us that we aren’t enough. The movement is painful and the aftermath sucks even more because all we want to do is turn around and say, “I didn’t mean it” when in reality we are saying, “I don’t want to give up, even if it means sacrificing myself and my sanity.” Sometimes that is exactly what we should do, sometimes it is better to take the path less traveled knowing that our sacrifice could potentially be worth it. Sometimes we have to let go, even if it means getting swept under, fighting the current, and then breaking the surface with a gasp so huge it is almost a definable sigh of relief. Relief always seems to be temporary.
It seems that if life were easy, or if relationships were easy, we would be a lot less interesting and we would lack some serious growth. We wouldn’t have valleys or mountain tops, we would have a straight line to walk, nothing to look forward to or for. Sitting in the in-between can be restless and uncomfortable, but often it is necessary.
We have two ultimate options, to fight or to surrender. And it is ok to change your mind.
Neither gives you a better seat in heaven.