When I think about the story I have written so far I realize how much past there is. Things I have seen, things I have done. We never want to tell the messy side(s) of our stories because they are hard. It is difficult to peer into our past, being vulnerable, and looking at what we’ve done or what has been done to us if it isn’t something we are proud of. Possibly, because we are ashamed. Maybe, because we haven’t moved on. But when we hear stories about other peoples messes…we are inspired to share our own faults, to open that vault, and let others know they aren’t alone.
All of that past, all of that baggage. It is nothing to be judged for, it is something to work through and eventually move on from. Everyone is different. Some move on quickly, some take some more time. Regardless of how much time it takes, you’re loved for who you are today. I’ve learned to be vulnerable with my story, opening it up, proudly confessing my mess of my past and my mess in the present. The people I unravel before are gracious. That is why I choose to open up my closet for them.
You know what they say? “You’re ok!” or “You will be ok!”
And I don’t doubt it.
If you ask me how my heart is doing? I’ll be honest with you, it will never be perfect. I am not expecting your heart to be perfect either. We all struggle with what’s inside. We may be at one point, aiming to get somewhere else, but we haven’t been able to get there because of anything in-between brokenness and boldness. While I don’t plan on wallowing in my faults, I do plan on enjoying the ride and embracing the adventure. The wonderful, mediocre, and not so great phases of life. I desire to toss out all of my worry, fear, pain to live with love, passion, and a teachable spirit. And there may be days that I don’t succeed ((learn from them)) but there are more days filled of great joy.
I am authentically, vulnerably, simply messy. It means I’m human. The best thing about it is Who loves me and provides me with abundant grace while walking through it with me.
My mess will never be fully cleaned up because I am faulty.
Blood was spilt for that. For grace. For one reason, love.
Our messes may never end…
thankfully, that same love and grace never ends either.