Who would put you here?
The devil likes to feed us these lies. He likes to feed me lies where I feel like I’m not good enough, under qualified, and too full of mess ups to mean anything…especially, for the Kingdom. And for that split second I forget how big God is and how He put me where I am for a reason. For that split second I feel ashamed when I should be unashamed, standing on my solid foundation in awe of what Christ has done in my life.
In these moments it is easy to be cynical, it is easy to be skeptical, even more so when we feel like we have been burned. It is harder when we feel like we are unheard and uncared for. It is even worse when we don’t express our concerns and don’t dare to have those difficult conversations.
Run towards the fire, not away from it.
God has a place for us and He created us to be someone for a reason, not just to carelessly live life using and abusing it. Not just to wallow in self pity when something doesn’t go our way or when something is uncomfortable.
Good leaders grow in discomfort.
I think of it like the first time you fall in love, with anything. With how something feels, when you realize you aren’t in that place anymore, that is all you want. To be able to get back in that place of awe, wonder, comfort, and love. That is how I feel about my relationship with Jesus. At some point, we will realize that following Jesus is a hard road but we will have the ultimate gold metal at the finish line. When I first fell in love with Christ I was so amazed, my heart was so eager, but as I have encountered the road bumps along the way that amazement and eagerness has slowly started to fade.
We all struggle, we all feel pain. Ministry is messy.
I am getting back to that place with Jesus. Back to that place where I feel like God is in control and I trust Him to be. Back to that place where I know that Christ is the center of my heart and I am dang proud of it. Back to that place where I want to share who I am and where I have come from because I understand of the pain of feeling like Christianity is a religion over a relationship. Back to the place where I sing my praises and pray my prayers just broken at the knees at how wonderful God is and how I am so undeserving of everything that has been done for you and me. But hey, He just loves us that much. The sooner we get over that hump that seems to be too hard to believe the easier it will be to enjoy all that He is.
I am getting back to that place where I feel like I radiate light and joy, where my heart feels light, and I smile just because I can.
Be true to who you are and who you were made to be.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing.
James 1:2-4